Just Existing
by altiversewatcher
Summary: Buffy loses her powers at 23 and tries to cope, Spike is sent to Europe to investigate a case for Wolfram and Harte. BS .post season 7. (I’m terrible at summaries.)
1. chapter 1

Title: Just Existing Author: bitmaxmouse Rating: pg-13 Summary: Buffy loses her powers at 23 and tries to cope, Spike is sent to Europe to investigate a case for Wolfram and Harte. B/S .post season 7. (I'm terrible at summaries.)  
  
A/N: Although I never gave any sort of attempts towards it, I think this story may have been in the back of my mind forever.  
  
~~~~  
  
Buffy lost her powers around the time she turned twenty-three. It wasn't exactly sudden; there were small hints: from her not being able to lift up a desk to retrieve a fallen pencil to strange light headed spells. She fully realized what was happening when she was nearly killed by a newborn vampire which should have been dusted in seconds.  
  
She went to Willow about the problem and basically Willow surmised that Slayers weren't supposed to live that long, but if they did they eventually lost their powers. But none of the Slayers of the past had ever even reached their majority, so there was no clear evidence. But logically, it made sense...  
  
At first Buffy would wake up each morning and try to pick up the small table next to her bed, since she was still in denial. Then she would weakly let go of the table that she never managed to pick up and stare at it dumbly until she realized she was late for work.  
  
She had even gone as far as asking Giles whether he was poisoning her again. He wasn't. But she still did run a test just to see if there was anything out of norm in her bloodstream. She looked in books to see if she was under a curse or had some sort of slayer illness. It all led to a dead end.  
  
She finally started to accept things as weeks passed and her powers refused to come back. But it still bothered her and although she kept telling everyone she was okay and that she could deal. Inside, she couldn't decide whether to be happy because she was finally normal or collapse in a heap of sobs and scream about the unfairness of it all. It wasn't the same as the last time she lost her powers. That time, she had been so concerned over whether Angel would love her if she wasn't the slayer anymore. But now, it wasn't like they'd ever get together.  
  
So this time, she was more concerned over her responsibilities. How could she train the slayers if she wasn't one herself anymore? She could teach them technique, but not the motions. Buffy tried to ignore the nagging voice in her head that said she wasn't the 'only' slayer around. Although she and Faith had made up, she still felt a sick punch in her gut every time she was overshadowed by Faith.  
  
Buffy never really took a break after she had lost her powers. She buried herself with work on locating the new Slayers and moving around Europe to 'help' train them, she kept her feelings all inside and worked ten times harder than before. But the bitterness and distraught caught up with her at night, so now she couldn't even sleep anymore. Then at work she would forget that she no longer had the endurance of a Slayer to work for eighteen hours straight. So when they found her asleep in the shower for the third time, they demanded that she take a vacation.  
  
Which then led to her standing here: outside of a musty old cottage that was twice as big as her house.  
  
She figured that the definition of cottage had changed a lot over the years.  
  
It belonged to Giles; although he never visited it or made use of it. It was bit surprising, but it wasn't too farfetched to learn that Giles's family was rich, very rich actually and he inherited a lot of land up and down the British Isles, so this cottage located up in Scotland also came with what seemed to be an endless backyard.  
  
Buffy contemplated the grey-white cottage at the gate. It looked worn and cold, with its pointed charcoal colored roof, the many long dirty windows around the house, and the overall aged feeling of the place. Buffy timidly undid the rusty latch on the gate and let herself into the front yard of the house, which was mostly covered in dead overgrown grass and flourishing weeds. As she gazed upon the wild vegetation, she contemplated on fixing the front yard during her stay.  
  
While the house was quite big, the door seemed tiny in comparison; it was only a slight bit higher than Giles. And for a moment Buffy envisioned Giles running into the top of the door and falling over ungracefully while muttering British curses. The ex-slayer's lips quirked a bit at the thought, she'd keep in mind to ask Giles sometime during her vacation.  
  
Buffy jiggled the rusty old bronze door handle a few times, and then took out a key to unlock the door. The door was a faded burgundy color; the deep brownish red stain on the wood was disappearing after years of rain and wear. The hinges gave a loud groan, which reminded Buffy of a few haunted houses and crypts she had entered back in her Slayer days. But the fact that knew she no longer had the means of protecting herself, gave her a small shiver of uncertainty.  
  
She was lucky to have spotted the clean vase with fresh flowers inside, or else she may have stood outside for about ten minutes contemplating whether there were demons occupying the house. Buffy walked in without closing the door and set her luggage down on the wooden floor. A dull thud resounded through the house as she did so. Buffy tapped the wood under her feet and hoped that it would remain sturdy.  
  
As the she made her way to the vase, she noticed a small plain white card on the table, under it. She picked the card up and opened it. It read:  
  
Buffy  
  
I had a housekeeper come in to clean out the place, uncover the furniture, and bring in a clean mattress and linen and dining ware, amongst other things. I hope you find it to your liking, it's kind of rickety. If the house needs some repairs, just call me and I know a few people in the area who would be glad to help you out. In the meantime, relax, sleep, recover and please don't try to do any rash. If there's trouble, call me or Andrew. Preferably me.  
Your Watcher,  
Rupert Giles  
  
Buffy snorted at the part where Giles wrote "Preferably me.", he still really disliked Andrew and couldn't understand why Buffy would even consider hiring him to help out. But Andrew had proved his usefulness and besides, it wasn't difficult to scare him into shape. As much as Buffy hated to sound manipulative, she knew that she could get Andrew to do anything with a simple pointed glare. And it was entertaining to watch him as he tried to exude confidence when finding the other Slayers and new watchers, because in reality, he was still the same cowardly little geek who owed them for his past transgressions.  
  
Buffy peered into the living room at the end of the hall way. There was a stone fireplace and another card on top of it. She walked over and looked at the card:  
  
Had a gas fireplace installed since it's difficult to start a fire from scratch. The button to turn on the gas is behind the rack of pokers. The wood is out in back of the cottage in the shed. Watch out for spiders when you look for wood and don't forget to open the chimney before you start a fire so you won't send smoke into the house.  
  
Buffy blinked at the messaged and nodded to herself. She'd keep this card here, just in case she forgot. Buffy uneasily placed the car back onto the top of the stone fireplace. Just great, Giles just had to mention spiders to put her off of starting a fire to warm the house. It was just another little mocking reminder of what she was now susceptible to.  
  
Buffy turned and sat in the old high backed winged green chair and stared at the non-existent fire. This, being normal, was what she wanted all her life. But now that her powers were gone, she found herself regretting ever wanting to get rid of it.  
  
Buffy let out a defeated sigh as she slumped down into the chair; she hated feeling helpless and useless. She never expected this, she was supposed to be happy and enjoy her newfound freedom instead of wallowing over no longer... being special.  
  
'Gee...maudlin and petulant much?' Buffy's inner voice taunted her.  
  
Buffy let out a frustrated exhalation and got out of the chair with a huff and went to go look around the rest of the house.  
  
Although she had momentarily run away from the situation, she knew she couldn't outrun it forever. Trapped in this cold grey house, she knew it would all catch up with her. 


	2. chapter 2

Buffy woke up to the sound of dull heavy thumping.  
  
At first she thought it was someone at the door, but the thumping was too light and wasn't coming from downstairs. Next she thought it was a demon, but as she glanced towards the window, she found herself looking at a warble of colors mixed with the morning light. Buffy quietly reprimanded herself for being so paranoid, it was only raining, something that happened a lot in Scotland. Buffy looked up and finally identified where the sound was coming from. The rain was thumping against the roof, making a sort of pattering rhythm. Growing up in L.A. and Sunnydale had made experiencing rain a rarity. There were a few times it rained, like that time with Angel...  
  
Buffy immediately cut off the rest of the thought. She didn't want to go in that direction. She was already licking her wounds over one problem.  
  
Buffy laid back and curled into the bed hoping to fall back to sleep, but it seemed like her thoughts were brimming on the edge, threatening to spill over. Finally, she quickly got up and decided that sleeping was no longer such a good idea, she had to keep busy.  
  
She went through her usual morning routine, although the shower took a bit longer to get warmed up, everything else was fine.  
  
The kitchen was the old kind gas kind and at first she was afraid of touching it, lest she let out too much gas and blow up the house. But after the fifth try, she managed to get one of the stoves up and running. She was currently cooking some ham and eggs and cheese she had found in the refrigerator and the delicious smell was wafting warmly through the kitchen, making the grey dreary house not as dank and cold.  
  
It was as Buffy ate breakfast that she thought of a TV, because she usually watched the news while eating at home. So after she washed out the dishes, she went in search of a TV.  
  
After making five circles around the house and looking in every closet there was, she realized that there was no TV.  
  
'And no laptop because Giles wouldn't let me bring one!' Buffy thought in irritation as she sat down.  
  
What was Giles trying to do? Kill her from boredom?  
  
Buffy suddenly felt like she was transported back to the technology-less seventeenth century, if she ignored the ugly red colored plastic phone that clashed with the rest of the living room.  
  
'What was Giles thinking when he bought that monstrosity?' Buffy thought as she glanced over at the offending object.  
  
'No, Giles doesn't think when he buys thing, like that car of his. His red mid-life crisis convertible...' Buffy thought with a scowl, it wasn't until she leaned her head back that she realized she was sitting in the same old, high, wing backed, green chair.  
  
'I must have some sort of affinity to this thing." Buffy thought as she looked up. The wings on the sides of the chair were a bit too high and she could barely rest her head against the side. But it was comfortable and the smooth curved armrests on both sides seemed to agree with her.  
  
Buffy hummed and got out of the chair. Then she spotted one of the large windows at the other end of the living room, and the long cushioned bench that was conveniently placed under it. A nice idea came to her.  
  
Buffy hurried up the stairs and came back down with the large dark blue comforter and sat there curled up in the blanket and watched the rain for a while, just staring into nothingness. Watching the rain turn the grass along the hills into a lovely bright healthy green, there were streaks of water that slithered down the window's surface, like fickle moving rivers.  
  
Buffy's warm breaths fogged up the lower part of the window slightly and it disappeared onto reappear when she breathed again.  
  
She maintained a blank state of mind as she sat there until lunch, allowing herself to indulge in the childish fascination in the rain. At some point she even breathed heavily on the window and wrote the word 'hi' which then slowly disappeared.  
  
She eventually moved because the slightly hunched position was making her shoulders ache. This was another thing that she never really felt when she was a Slayer. Sure she'd felt her shoulders ache with soreness from a fight. But she never felt the weariness in her bones and joints. It was all catching up to her now. Buffy stretched, causing the corner of the comforter to fall off of her lap and touch the dusty floor. The ex-slayer gingerly picked up the blanket and dusted off the white coating off of the blue surface before bundling it up and putting it onto the couch. She'd remember to take it back upstairs later.  
  
Lunch passed and Buffy searched the refrigerator, but she really didn't feel hungry and nothing appealed to her. So she gave up and settled for randomly wandering around the empty house. The dull ache in her shoulders and stomach seemed more prominent now that she had nothing else to do.  
  
'I'm going to go mad in here' Buffy thought desperately as she sat down at the dining table in the kitchen and buried her face into her hands. ~~~ Two more days passed like this. There would be occasional showers, but other than that it seemed that the clouds were never ending. Buffy partially blamed the weather for her semi-depression. But she knew most of it was actually an accumulation of her thoughts and the self doubt and the worry that came with them.  
  
"I think I really hate Giles." Buffy said out loud. She didn't bother to keep her thoughts in her head anymore since there was no one here to hear her. And hearing herself talk seemed to fill in the silence that threatening to swallow her.  
  
She did try to keep herself occupied. She tried reading, but it was always too dim to read well and the lack light was making her eyes ache. She tried reading outside once, but the chill was enough to keep her from concentrating on the book. She wanted to garden, but the showers were so random and unexpected that she could never decently weed the front yard.  
  
She tried writing, but it was the same problem with the books. Not to mention, every time she wrote she'd start going off on a ranting tangent that she disgustedly threw away.  
  
Then late in the afternoon, the phone rang.  
  
Buffy jumped and froze as she registered the second ring. Buffy made a mad dash towards the ugly red phone and picked it up, trying to keep the crazed need for contact out of her voice, "Hello?"  
  
"B-buffy." The speaker started. Buffy gave the phone a slight glare. But didn't hold her grudge, the last person she wanted to talk to on the phone was better than having no one to talk to.  
  
Giles continued, "So how is your stay? Are feeling better?"  
  
"Lots better! I want to go home now! This place is driving me crazy with boredom. And Giles! There's no TV!"  
  
Buffy heard muttering on the other side of the phone.  
  
"So do I get to go home now?"  
  
"Uh... unfortunately no... I've been in contact with... Wolfram and Harte..."  
  
"Angel?"  
  
"Y-yes. Apparently they have a branch in Scotland they're sending someone over to investigate something. We should keep an eye on him. I ... no, it's your break. I shouldn't..." Giles trailed off.  
  
Buffy immediately jumped on the opportunity to be in contact with outside world again, "Yes! Whatever it is. I'll do it! I just want to get out of here. It's been raining like crazy and it's been making me crazy. Giles, there's nothing to do here but mope." Buffy said, she could feel her voice rising despite her attempts to not sound desperate.  
  
"W-well in that case...T-the investigator is going supposed to be at the Bouzy Rouge. We'll send someone over with a car and map as soon as possible. He's supposed to be there tonight, please be careful and try not to make it look like you're spying on him."  
  
"I'll be as quiet as a mouse. Promise!"  
  
"A-alright, but remember if there's trouble..."  
  
"I'll call you. Mother hen doesn't suit you Giles." Buffy teased, hoping to sidetrack the road the conversation was going down.  
  
"S-sorry, it's just that..." Giles continued and Buffy felt her self sag into the couch. It didn't work.  
  
"I'm no longer the Slayer. Right." Buffy replied carelessly and let out a sigh, "I'm still competent even without the powers. Don't worry. I can take care of myself, I'm a big girl. I'll talk to you later."  
  
Buffy then quickly hung up, not wanting to hear Giles counter what she just said.  
  
Thankfully the phone didn't ring again. ~~~ 


	3. chapter 3

Bouzy Rouge was nice, lovely, and high classed, Buffy was almost expecting some dark dank bar where Scottish demons lurked. But then it was Wolfram and Harte, so it wasn't so unsurprising that the place looked pretty high end.  
  
The ceiling was emitting an orangish glow from the citrus-colored glass that looked like a complex turtle shell. There were chandeliers that refracted light from the orange glass gave the room a warm glow. The pristine white cloths on the table had a slightly violet hue. And the chairs were cushioned with soft red fabric and looked immensely comfortable. The waiter courteously led Buffy over to one of the side tables meant for two people. She felt a small pang, wishing some was here to enjoy this with her or talk to her...  
  
After studying the Mediterranean styled room a little longer, Buffy picked up the menu and looked through the dishes.  
  
~~~  
  
Spike contemplated sending a complaint letter to every wine and beer company that actually had the audacity to make those teeny tiny sadistic bottles of alcohol for the airplanes. But as he caught sight of rack of very good vintage wines showcased in the windows of Bouzy Rouge, he figured he'd do it later after a few drinks with the contact. After all, he didn't have to pay a dime for it.  
  
Spike shifted uncomfortably in his slightly damp suit as he entered the restaurant. Angel had been adamant about him not meeting the contact in his intimidating trench coat and black military boots. So now he was dressed in a poncy black suit and blue shirt and silver tie that threatened to choke him to death. Spike subtly stuck a finger into the space between his neck and shirt and tugged a little, hoping to give himself more breathing room.  
  
A waiter came up to Spike and asked him what kind of drink he'd like while waiting. Spike glance through the menu looking for the most expensive wine possible just to spite Angel, "Let's see, a Château Loudenne Médoc."  
  
The waiter nodded, and went off to get the wine. As Spike waited for his drink to come, a mousy looking man sat down next to him.  
  
Then before Spike knew it, the man tapped him on the shoulder, "Sir you dropped something."  
  
Spike glanced downward and saw a napkin and was about to shake his head when he noticed the mousy looking man didn't smell quite human.  
  
'Ah' Spike mentally acknowledged, 'So they're playing it this way.'  
  
The peroxide blonde bent down and picked up the napkin, while giving the small man a stiff grin as he tucked the napkin into his coat pocket. He figured this guy had watched too many bad spy movies. And he was about to comment so when he turned around only to find the small man had disappeared.  
  
'Well... I guess that's it...' Spike thought and gave an eye roll. Angel's contacts were always really pathetic, figured that poofs like Angel got just as poofy contacts. Spike was about to get up, pay for the drink, and leave when his sensitive ears picked up on a familiar female voice.  
  
"Can I get a roast chicken casserole?" the girl inquired.  
  
"would you like desert?"  
  
"I'll think about."  
  
"very good, why don't you hold on to the menu ma'm. And to drink?"  
  
"Coffee. Mocha?"  
  
The waiter nodded and grinned, "I'll be back with your drink soon."  
  
Spike stared, his face slightly slack and his mouth opened just a bit. The girl had her back turned to him, but there was no mistaking the silky golden hair. It was longer now, down to her lower back and tied into a long French braid. Neat but still lovely. And her voice, that resonating warmth that lured men like a siren's song, was unmistakable even on the other side of the restaurant.  
  
"Sir, this way please." The waiter said as he came up to Spike, but spike held up a hand, "Can you seat me at that empty table right behind the young lady?"  
  
The waiter gave spike a knowing smile and nodded as he led him over to the table behind Buffy. Spike took a seat so that he and Buffy were back to back. The vampire thanked the waiter with a mute smile and nod. Spike quietly picked up the menu, and looked through the list, but the entire time his mind was on the girl behind him. He quickly and quietly ordered and then sat there nervously as he fiddled with the tablecloth.  
  
Finally Spike got up the courage to turn around a bit and he leaned forward to whisper in the lady's right ear, "The wotcher sent you to make sure Big Bad didn't pull anything funny huh?"  
  
Buffy's head immediately whipped around, "Spike?!"  
  
Spike gave Buffy a tender smile as he looked at her. She was beautiful with her light natural makeup and paler skin from her long stay in Europe.  
  
"Hey luv." Spike said, but it almost a whisper, like a sigh from his lips.  
  
Buffy ventured for a small hesitant smile back at Spike, "Looks like you found me out."  
  
Spike shrugged.  
  
"Did I blow your cover?" Buffy asked, her petite arm was resting on the soft red chair and she was semi-turned so that she was looking sideways at him.  
  
Spike shook his head, "I already got the information from him. He disappeared pretty quickly though. Perhaps he's been watching too many Trigger Happy sketches..."  
  
Buffy raised a brow. Spike had the strangest hobbies and television interests. He was perhaps the only vampire in existence who had a really bad obsession with Harry Potter and according to Dawn, he had planted himself in front of their computer for nearly a month while she was... dead... and discussed possible clues in the current books that may predict the events in the future books. Not that Dawn didn't also become as equally obsessed once he let her borrow his books.  
  
Buffy glanced over at Spike as he told her one of the really funny pranks Trigger Happy pulled, something about people in giant squirrel costumes. Buffy smiled and gave a light laugh because it seemed appropriate, even though she wasn't really listening.  
  
After that, Spike glanced over at Buffy with a slightly contemplative expression. He was too in tuned with her; he knew whenever she was a little out of it. And he definitely recognized when she was giving him a hollow laugh.  
  
"You look well." Buffy said, trying to distract his studying eyes.  
  
Spike made a face as he picked at his suit, "The ponce wouldn't let me wear my duster and usual t-shirt, said it'd scare away the contact."  
  
Buffy gave a real laugh this time. Spike did have a tendency to do that.  
  
"But I swear, if this collar gets any tighter, I think it'll decapitate me. It's probably cursed, stupid poof." Spike said as he tugged on his shirt collar again, trying to give himself some breathing room.  
  
Buffy reached over and adjusted his tie a little, "Well, you're finished with meeting your contact, why not loosen up a bit."  
  
Buffy tried to smooth out her voice, but I only came out in an unsuccessful nervous stutter, it was like electricity dancing on her fingertips. She was only touching his tie! But the look in his eyes, the surprise and the flicker of emotion as she reached over was enough for her to lose her sturdy resolve.  
  
Spike gulped and Buffy watched as his Adam's apple bob. Then she felt a sudden urge to touch him, it was perhaps that thought which caused her to quickly jerk away and sit back in her seat with a deep red blush. Spike gracefully stood up and circled around so that he now at across from her at her table. He reached a hand out and covered Buffy's tense unmoving left hand. "Luv, it's okay. Really."  
  
Buffy glanced up a bit through her bangs, Spike quirked a smile, "Your face is matchin' Red's hair. Nothing to be embarrassed about, just relax, it's forgotten."  
  
After a few moments, Buffy allowed a sigh and visibly relaxed. But she still nervously looked at Spike's hand, which was covering hers. The blonde vampire understood that right now was not a good time for her to experience physical contact, so he gave her hand a light pat and sat back in silence.  
  
Thankfully their food arrived in time and the waiters seemed to have known that Spike was going to move over to Buffy's table since he didn't make any sort of detour or look confused as he brought the food over to Spike.  
  
Buffy glanced up a few times and watched Spike eat, "You know, according to the watcher archive -or what's left of them- vampires are supposed to hate human food."  
  
But Spike's answer was wholly unexpected.  
  
"Perhaps I was made wrong." He replied with a smirk, it echoed the lost words that Buffy had felt a few years back. And for some reason the thought that both Spike and her were messed up, was strangely comforting. Buffy laughed softly as she poked at her baked potato slices.  
  
"I don't think I've even met a vampire who's quite like you." Buffy contemplated, "And I mean, I've met a lot of them."  
  
Spike retorted as he pointed his fork at Buffy, "Well, it's not like you ever got to know any of them personally... you know stake first, talk later. If it weren't for special circumstances you wouldn't have ever given me a chance."  
  
Buffy looked a bit abashed, "Well... fine then, you've been around them though. Are all vamps as interesting as you?"  
  
Spike grinned as he took a sip of his expensive red wine, "Not even close."  
  
Buffy made a face, "what about Angel?"  
  
"Like I said, the poof is as dull as a desk lamp."  
  
"Isn't he like your boss now? Why do you still call him that?"  
  
"Buffy, luv. The day I stop calling him poof or ponce or something of that variety is the day he has Wes put me under a bloody microscope and looks for some sort of bodysnatcher. It's what we do. Bird gotta fly, fish gotta swim, I gotta annoy the poof."  
  
Buffy shook her head and she rolled her eyes, but there was a twinkle of amusement.  
  
As dinner drew to an end. Buffy found herself wondering where Spike was staying, she wasn't really implying that she wanted Spike to come stay with her in the cold cottage, but even her own verbal impulses were against her.  
  
"So where are you staying?" Buffy asked as she picked up her jacket and then mentally bashed herself for not keeping her mouth shut. But Spike intercepted her and then helped her put on her black wool waistcoat. She felt another pang as he did so. It was such a... comforting and kind gesture. It seemed that Spike may have also came back a bit more different after he gave his life to destroy the Hellmouth.  
  
As he helped her right arm into the sleeve, he replied, "Not really sure. There's a festival of some sort going on here. I'm crossing my fingers and hopin' that they'll have room for me."  
  
"And if they don't?"  
  
Spike shrugged, "Suit might get a little wet."  
  
Without even thinking, Buffy answered, "Why don't you stay with me?"  
  
Spike paused, holding Buffy's shoulders, so that they were an arm apart, "I... It's alright pet. I didn't mean to sound like you had to put up with me."  
  
Buffy twisted the strap on her purse, "I-it's not really that...I mean, it's a big place... It's lonely. I-I don't know...a little company would be nice."  
  
She could feel herself fraying at the edges, ready to fall apart. It was only the mere thought that she may not see him again that was making her mind go uncharacteristically into depression. She never told anyone and she never would even admit it to herself. But he was probably the only person in the world that she trusted. Because although her friends and Dawn had made amends. The betrayal still happened and Spike was the only one that never turned on her. Not to mention, he was still strong and she felt an invisible pull from him. For a first time since she lost her powers, she felt... safe.  
  
She winced at the nagging pressure behind her eyes that was now giving her a headache.  
  
'I won't fall apart here. It's just Spike.' Buffy instructed herself  
  
But it wasn't just Spike, it was...  
  
"If you insist luv." Spike's soft velvet voice interrupted her jumble of thoughts. Buffy gave a hurried nod, her shoulders were a little hunch over, but a smooth hand touched her lower back and gave a gentle circling rub. Buffy back straightened a little and she looked up at him.  
  
A silent message exchanged between the two of them and Spike leaned over to place a gentle kiss on her brow. Then he whispered, "Don't worry, I'm here."  
  
Buffy took a half-step closer and put her head in the crook of his neck, "I know, thank you." 


	4. chapter 4

The first thing Buffy said as she entered the old cottage was, "Oh shit."  
  
Spike blinked, "What is it?"  
  
Buffy gave a deep exhale as she tossed the old, fat key onto the dish located on a table next to the door. "I always forget that I'm not living at home you know?"  
  
Spike nodded tentatively, not exactly sure where she was going with this. He easily placed his two suitcases on the floor and shrugged out of a grey ankle length windbreaker he had worn on the way back. Earlier, he didn't have it since he left it in a locker at the airport with the rest of his things, but as it started to drizzle on the way to the car, they made a detour to the airport before returning to the cottage.  
  
Buffy continued as she bustled around, making sure that it didn't look like a mess, "And I don't know why, my brain just crossed! And... and..."  
  
Buffy stopped in front of Spike, "There's only one bed in the whole house."  
  
Spike looked a little confused by how dejected she looked, "Uh, well I can always sleep on the couch, and it's a very comfy looking couch. Don't worry luv, lived in a crypt for the better part of time I knew you, remember?"  
  
Buffy rubbed her eyes, "I know... it's just...I feel like a bad host. I can sleep on the..."  
  
"No." Spike interrupted as he started to take his two suitcases into the living room. "You know me pet. I would never let you sleep on the couch. And if you tried to change our arrangement you can be sure that in the morning you would be in bed and I'd be on the couch."  
  
Buffy allowed herself to fall into the green high backed chair, while muttering dryly "There's just no arguing with you huh?"  
  
Spike gave Buffy a light smirk and started to unzip the suitcase when Buffy said out loud, "The bed is big enough..."  
  
Spike stopped and looked back at the ex-Slayer, "Pet, don't make things anymore complicated than they are."  
  
Buffy protested, "I'm not, it's just that..."  
  
"You don't know what you're doing right now." Spike finished for her. "You will regret it, because both of us don't have the will power not to do something. I know you felt good and safe with me when I held you that time before the apocalypse. But Buffy, there's no apocalypse this time. Just you, me, and a bunch of unresolved feelings."  
  
Buffy stared numbly at the empty fireplace, "I'm afraid..."  
  
Spike decided to abandon his unpacking for now and sat down on the side of the couch that was closest Buffy, "What are you afraid of luv?"  
  
"Maybe I don't want to resolve these feelings. What if in the end they don't... they don't add up." Buffy asked, her voice was raspy and her hands were clenching the arms of the chair too hard. If she had her powers, they would have snapped the wood, but instead her knuckles turned white and the arms of the chair were still intact.  
  
Spike reiterated his question, but this time in a whisper, "What are you afraid of?"  
  
"Being alone." Buffy quickly answered.  
  
"But you aren't alone, you have the wotcher, Red, Cyclops, Niblet..."  
  
Buffy's eyes became glassy, so Spike stopped and watched her mutely. A tense silence came over the room and suddenly the very big cottage didn't seem so big anymore, it seemed to only focus in this room, with the two of them waiting for some sort of answer.  
  
"But Giles has his new watchers to train, Willow has Kennedy, Xander has this new girl he met in Africa, and Dawn is growing up and is out a lot. They're there, but not really. Everyone's so busy these days." Buffy said monotonously. Her eyes became red around the edges and she pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes, hoping to stifle the maudlin feelings that were threatening to rush forward. She took her hands away and found her tear drops on her wrists, sliding down her arms in a shameful display of weakness.  
  
Spike wanted more than anything to hug her now, or to kiss her silly until she forgot, but he knew better. He had learned over time that you just had to let all out first before you could start to heal.  
  
And she continued, "I lost my powers Spike..."  
  
She stopped for a second and studied him, he was about to ask how it happened but she answered before the words came out of this mouth. "Willow just said it was just time... I've never felt so full of doubt or so scared. All my life I've wished that I never had these powers, but now that they're gone, I feel useless and I try to drive myself into the ground showing that I'm still me and I can be useful... I'm so tired, but I can't stop... Because if I do. What if I'm not wanted anymore? Just like that time Dawn kicked me out... I have to make myself valuable. Everyone has some sort of ability, but me? I'm just Buffy the ex-Slayer with no skills at all...And everyone walks on egg shells around me because they know I want to know what's going on. But they think I'll do something stupid and put myself in danger."  
  
Now Buffy was sobbing and desperately wiping at her eyes, like she was trying to hide her tears from him. Spike pulled out the blue handkerchief in his pocket and handed it to Buffy. And as she took it from him, Spike swiftly picked her up and juggled both of them so that now he was sitting in the green high backed chair and Buffy was cradled in his arms.  
  
Buffy, almost instinctively, tucked her face into his neck and murmured, "I'm going to mess up your nice suit."  
  
Spike pulled her back a little and gave her a gentle exasperated look, "My Golden Girl is more important than some stupid suit the ponce is making me wear, don't you think?"  
  
"But I'm not the Sla- "  
  
"But you're still Buffy Summers aren't you?"  
  
"Yeah..."  
  
"Remember what I said that night before we attacked the Hellmouth?"  
  
"Sort of..."  
  
"I love you because you 'try'. Not because you're 'The Slayer', there's a difference you know. You deal with all your situations with stride. I know it's cruel and unfair that the Powers That Be are tugging you around like a puppet, but I know you'll pull out of this and show them that you can't be phased or hurt. Think of it as a test."  
  
Buffy gave a soft fuzzy 'okay' as she wiped her eyes while leaning into his chest again. Then she felt his soothing hand rubbing her back in circles once more. She gave a soft sigh as her tears lessened and the both of them were lulled to sleep by the rhythm of the rain from outside. ~~~  
  
The morning was still cloudy, but the birds were out and Buffy woke to the sound of birds chirping outside. Buffy woke up aware; the fact that she wasn't covered with a blanket was enough for her to recall that she was downstairs with Spike. She was a bit sore from the position she had maintained all night. Buffy looked up at Spike's peaceful sleeping face, his mouth was opened just a bit and there was the soft sound of air going through his lungs, perhaps a habit he had maintained even long after his transformation.  
  
'Perhaps I was made wrong.' Buffy recalled from their dinner conversation and gave a small grin.  
  
About this time, Spike slowly woke up twitching a few times before he blearily blinked his eyes open. He jumped a bit at the sight of such bright light, his instincts telling him to run from the light. But as he caught sight of the dull grey clouds from outside, he relaxed and then looked down at Buffy.  
  
"Mornin'" He rasped groggily and reached up to rub his eyes with his free right hand. His left hand was wrapped comfortably around Buffy's waist. "What time is it?"  
  
Spike shifted Buffy a little while still keeping her in his lap and brought up his left wrist hand so she could peer at his watch. The silver hands pointed to 9:47 on the blue dial.  
  
"It's nearly ten." Spike said as he looked back down at Buffy, who was making herself comfortable against him again. Spike leaned down and affectionately placed a kiss on her head. "You feelin' a bit peckish?"  
  
Buffy shrugged, "Not really. I don't know. I just don't really like the taste of my own food. Don't know why though..."  
  
Spike gently coaxed Buffy to get up and eventually the both of them made their way to the kitchen, their semi-formal clothes creased badly, but neither of them cared much.  
  
Spike moved around the kitchen and cooked some sausages and eggs for two of them. After he poured her some orange juice and blood for himself (which he got from his suitcase), Buffy started on her eggs and found them surprisingly good. She stabbed another piece of fluffy light yellow scrambled egg with her fork and held it up, "Why can't I ever get it to taste like this? I mean, mine always tastes really gross and dry."  
  
Spike swallowed the piece of sausage, "Prolly should add a little water when you beat the eggs."  
  
Buffy ate the piece of scrambled egg on the fork, "For a vampire, you sure know a lot about cooking."  
  
Spike shrugged, "Not much for me to do as a vamp if you think about it. You ever see Groundhogs Day?"  
  
Buffy nodded.  
  
"Well, time is sort of like that for me. It's like never ending time, so I just sort of pick up things here and there. Probably completely worthless skills, but I mean I'm sort of limited to what I can do."  
  
"What else can you do?"  
  
Spike thought for a second, "Guitar, I'm bloody good at the electric. Um... some piano, but I already learned that while I was a human, sometimes I sort of play. Not that good anymore, but I can play stuff like the Star Wars theme."  
  
Buffy snorted and laughed around her cup of orange juice, luckily she had swallowed earlier or else she might have sprayed it onto the table.  
  
"You should have informed us of your talents earlier Spike, I'm sure the three geeks would have surrendered willingly knowing that we had a nerd on our side."  
  
Spike gaped, trying to look offended as he lightly kicked Buffy under the table. Then he got her back, "I donno Slayer, I think I've seen their tongues waggin' a few times when you were around. If you flashed them a few times, I'm sure they would have died from permanent nosebleeds."  
  
Buffy laughed as she tried to give him an insulted huff, but it just came out as a guffaw. Then she stuck her tongue at him and kicked his shin.  
  
"Ouch Slayer, that hurt!"  
  
Buffy gave him another kick, lighter this time, "You know it doesn't and its ex-Slayer remember?" She finished, trying to make it sound funny, but it came out flat.  
  
Spike reached out and tucked a loose strand of hair behind Buffy's ear, "Sorry about that luv. I'll keep it in mind."  
  
Buffy fiddled with her cup, "I'm beginning to understand why Anya was so panic-stricken after she broke her leg. It's like a loud blaring wake up call. Realizing that you're no longer invincible. I'm beginning to feel it too, I get aches sometimes, I pulled my shoulder once I was trying to show the Slayer girls how to wield a double sided sword, I don't heal as fast anymore without my slayer powers, and I have the crappiest aim in the world."  
  
Spike quietly listened to her words, slowly comprehending that that she wanted him here because she was afraid, in more ways than one and for more things other than just losing her powers. But allowing her to wallow in these things endlessly wasn't going to help, so he decided to give the conversation a lighter turn.  
  
"Better than when I was a human though..." Spike said taking a sip or two of blood. "Imagine me with curly impossible poncy hair, and glasses, and a stutter that makes Giles sound like James Bond."  
  
The trick worked, because now Buffy was looking at him, wide-eyed and amused, "You're kidding. I mean back when you told me about your past. You said you were a romantic fool that fell for someone. I didn't really imagine anything different from the way you are now."  
  
Spike laughed around the rim of his cup, "You can't believe 'how' different I was." 


	5. chapter 5

The skies cleared temporarily, but the two of them stayed within the house. At some point Spike had dug out the crinkled napkin from his pocket and he sat at a desk in the darkened corner of the living room and studied it. His jacket was tossed haphazardly over the chair, and the sleeves of his blue shirt were rolled up so that they bunched up around his elbows. He was lightly tapping the table top with a pencil as he mulled over the message he had copied over from the napkin.  
  
Buffy walked over and leaned over Spike's shoulder, "Getting anywhere?"  
  
Spike shook his head mutely. Then he turned around and looked up at Buffy, "What are you doing here in this remote cottage anyways? I thought you'd be working with the others."  
  
"I've been exiled." Buffy said dryly as she leaned into the back of Spike's chair.  
  
"Exiled? Like kicked out?"  
  
"No... like forced vacation. I was falling asleep everywhere."  
  
"You weren't kidding when you said you were driving yourself into the ground."  
  
Buffy shrugged, waving it off. She felt exposed in the daylight and the wave of dreariness had dissipated with Spike's presence. She quickly changed the topic. "So... what have you been doing lately?"  
  
Spike held up the paper and smirked as he waved it in Buffy's face.  
  
"No, I mean, after you came back to life."  
  
"Ah. Well, there was that period of me being non-corporeal and then I was back to normal thanks to some unknown force. And after that I fought the good ol' fight."  
  
"What I still don't really get is the whole Wolfram and Harte deal. If the investigator wasn't you, if it had been someone else that Wolfram and Harte sent, I wouldn't have trusted them one bit."  
  
"Actually. I don't know why Angel made a deal with the devil, it's complicated. That's what he tells me. But you know me, I'm never satisfied with what someone just tells me. I went digging a little, and found a few demons that couldn't be mentally affected. In Andrew-speak I think it's along the lines of "They had a Jedi mind block". I talked to a few of these demons and they mentioned a boy..."  
  
"A boy?"  
  
"Promise me you won't kill me for this?"  
  
"... I'll try not to?"  
  
"They said Angel had a son, but no one remembers. Something happened to his son, became a killer of sorts and there was this whole mess with an apocalypse. I'm not sure exactly what happened. But the demons said Wolfram and Harte 'fixed it' and Angel had to deal with the cards they gave him. And he was willing to make the deal so that he could undo his son becoming a killer."  
  
"You're sounding awfully cryptic."  
  
"Still figuring out a bit of it myself. You should be thankful, I'm giving you a translated version of it."  
  
Buffy snorted, "Okay then, back to you."  
  
"Wait... a question for a question. It's only fair."  
  
"Fine... So shoot."  
  
"How'd you find out I was alive? You didn't seem as 'in shock' as I expected."  
  
"Andrew."  
  
"I told that bloody moron not to say anything!"  
  
"And you believed he could hold it in?" Buffy asked skeptically as she folded her arms.  
  
Spike sighed. "Well... no....I guess not...I'll beat him into a-"  
  
"He didn't directly tell me" Buffy said, cutting Spike off, "One of the girls brought up after seeing you, they were supposed to tail Andrew to make sure he didn't get into too much trouble. But once they saw that you were keeping him safe, they held off for a bit."  
  
"That's nice to know..." Spike muttered. "Where were they when Dana was cutting my arms off?"  
  
"You got your arms cut off?!" Buffy asked, horrified.  
  
"Oops."  
  
"How?! She...Oh god!" Buffy said while staring at Spike's uncovered arms, and in the dim light she made out the faint scar line circling each arm.  
  
Spike quickly unraveled his bunched up sleeves and smoothed them down to his wrists, "Nothing to get worked up over. Anyways, the evil docs put me back together. I'm fine."  
  
"I didn't know."  
  
"No one knew. Andrew was semi-knocked out when Dana kidnapped me. And no one saw me get dragged into the ambulance."  
  
"Anything else you'd like to tell me about?"  
  
"Well you know the Illyria stuff. But I'm sure the wotcher told you already."  
  
Buffy was silent, she was chewing on her lower lip, "No, he didn't tell me."  
  
"But we called him. We asked for Red's help..."  
  
Buffy sighed, "I've been kept out of the loop...a lot of loops. I'm sort of like the figurehead, pencil pusher. I try to tackle cases and stuff, but... I know deep down that they don't hand me anything big. They're afraid I'll go into boss mode again."  
  
"But Angel told me that Andrew got his order from you to take Dana."  
  
"That was Giles."  
  
"He lied?"  
  
"I don't know... Maybe not, I mean, I'm guessing he got sent a bunch of papers with my forged signature or something telling him to go to L.A. and bring back the psycho slayer. I didn't even know about the mission until after he dragged her back."  
  
"I'm going to have a serious talk with Rupert."  
  
"You and me both..." Buffy said quietly as her shoulders slumped.  
  
"Don't go there." Spike said quietly as he reached around and rubbed her lower back.  
  
"Go where?"  
  
"You're thinking of a million ways of how worthless you are and why they would keep you out of something so important. It's not you love. It's them."  
  
She was silent, but the darkening shadow on her face said everything and all Spike could do was sit there, with her, and comfort her in his own way.  
  
~~~  
  
The clouds covered the patches of the sunset sky and the clouds turned a warm pinkish purple cotton candy, Spike was leaning on the frame in the back porch now, watching the skies with fascination that he never got rid of even after living for over a hundred years. Cloudy sunsets and sunrises were the closest he could even get to truly seeing the sun, veiled behind a lace of clouds.  
  
The back porch creaked quietly and Spike glanced back, seeing Buffy holding the door open and watching him. They watched each other for a while, until Spike's eyes shuttered an he straightened up, "Are you hungry?"  
  
"I guess. There really isn't much food in the 'fridge'."  
  
"We should buy some then."  
  
"Uh... now?"  
  
"Yeah. Sun has set. I'm not going to be extra crispy and I know you're just itching to get out."  
  
Buffy nodded slowly, "Well... just a bit."  
  
Spike held out a hand, "Let me change first and I'll be back, I don't think I can stand to wear this shirt and these slacks any longer."  
  
He disappeared into the living room for a bit and came out wearing his usual all black attire complete with his black duster. Buffy smiled, it was nice to see him back to being comfortable, but she also liked how he looked in normal and less unapproachable clothes.  
  
Spike stopped in front of her and looked at himself, "What did I forget to zip up?"  
  
"No... it's not that."  
  
Spike gave her a questioning look and she shrugged.  
  
But as the two of them got into the car, Buffy said briefly, "I kind of like you in lighter colored clothes is all."  
  
Then she started to car and drove towards town.  
  
~~~ They never made it to the supermarket until nearly two am. They had made a detour to a restaurant to have dinner and it just happened that the shops were open a littler later for some sort of town festival. So they looked from store to store and there were come novelty stores just for tourists that had toys. And the two of them had played like children until the store owner started to shoot them dirty looks. So eventually Spike bought a small wooden carved castle.  
  
As the two of them made their way back to the car, he held up the castle, "It's Edinburgh Castle, we should go one of these days, really nice and it's near the Scott Monument, Palace of Holyroodhouse, and a bunch of other things. We'll look in the newspaper and look for a cloudy day and we can spend the day being stupid tourists 'ooing' and 'awwing' at everything..."  
  
Buffy grinned brightly as he told her of their plans; it had been a while since she had so much fun with someone else. When she and Dawn first moved to Rome, they had spent only a day looking around, but Dawn had met a cute boy while visiting the ruins and after that they didn't really hang out much anymore. Then Buffy had to commute over to England so much that in the end she started to consider moving there because the constant flying was exhaustive. But Dawn had thrown her usual tantrum (despite her age) about Buffy being selfish and trying to uproot her again. So Buffy endured...  
  
Spike's hand wrapping around hers, snapped her out of her quiet brooding, "Why don't you keep the castle luv."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yeah, you know, a souvenir."  
  
Buffy looked closely at the intricate carvings and looked back at Spike, "I'll keep it on my desk at work."  
  
~~~  
  
When they finally reached the twenty four hour supermarket, neither of them were very tired. So they fooled around, spending too much time in the snack sections and grabbing random things. Spike got his hot sauce, ranch dressing, and chicken wings for his favorite Buffalo wings. Buffy splurged and got chocolate bars, chocolate syrup, and chocolate ice cream.  
  
At some point Spike forlornly passed by the meat section and muttered, "I wish this were an Asian supermarket."  
  
Surprised at the comment, Buffy turned to him, "Why is that?"  
  
"Well, Asians tend to be... more exotic in what they eat. I once somehow stumbled into one of them Ranch 99s –huge place- and I found out that they sell curdled animal blood."  
  
Buffy made a face, "You're telling me that Asian people eat blood?"  
  
"Yeah. They usually cook it though, it becomes this sort of black tofu looking thing and they dip it into a bunch of sauces. Bloody good, even got the poof askin' me were I got the stuff. And I really do like the curdled ducks blood, tastes like pudding..." Spike ended with an almost blissful look on his face.  
  
"That's just... gross..."  
  
"Hey, don't go makin' jabs till you've tried it."  
  
"Spike, I'm not going to try to eat curdled blood."  
  
"Oh come on Slayer. Where's your sense of adventure."  
  
"It disappeared along with my title of 'Slayer'."  
  
"Luv, in my eyes, you'll always be 'the one' whether or not you still have the powers of a Slayer. You represent everything a Slayer can hope to be. Don't feel bad about the nickname, because no matter how much you deny, it's vital part of you." Spike finished, softly.  
  
Then he pretended to glance over and cried out in triumph, "Ah! There's the bloody Wheatabix!"  
  
Buffy stood there for a second, frozen in her spot, but as Spike's words settled in, it felt like another weight gently floated off of her shoulders. She gave a soft laugh and then chased him down the aisles with the shopping cart.  
  
In the end the two of them were forced to make their purchases after an employee went and tried to report that they were racing each other with shopping carts through the store.  
  
~~~  
  
They couldn't sleep that night, and luckily they didn't buy anything that would go bad too soon, so they made their way to a park near a quiet, sleepy suburban neighborhood.  
  
They sat on the swings for a while and tried to touch the stars with their feet as they competed to see who could swing the highest.  
  
Then under the illuminating moon, they build a small family of sand turtles under the dome shaped jungle gym.  
  
The seesaw creaked with old age and threatened to give away as they stood in the middle of it and tried to balance it out, but both of them ended up toppling backwards and falling into the sand.  
  
They laughed themselves sick on the tire swing as they spun themselves while leaning backwards and whooped at the moon.  
  
And finally they settled at the bottom of the slide and made up random names for the constellations. Buffy wished she had a camera so that she could take a picture of the one Spike named 'Mr. Gordo'.  
  
They left the playground as a touch of cyan breached the ends of the night's sky and reached the cottage just as the sun crept over the hills and the rays touched the clear sky.  
  
With the windows drawn, they ended up lying in Buffy's bed talking. Buffy laid sideways with her hands tucked under her pillow and her legs curled up so that her toes touched Spike's knees. Spike was on his back with his left hand thrown over his stomach and his right hand on Buffy's foot.  
  
They spoke in whispers although no one was there to hear their conversation.  
  
"Do you know how long you're staying?"  
  
"I guess until I solve the case." Spike murmured sleepily.  
  
"Are you in a hurry to get back?"  
  
"Not particularly."  
  
"Hmm... me neither." Then Buffy giggled quietly, "I can't believe we did all those things tonight. The two of us, a twenty three year old ex-Slayer and a one hundred and thirty or so vampire acting like children."  
  
"Did you have fun?"  
  
"Yeah. Most I've had in a long time." Buffy said and ended with a yawn.  
  
"Well there you go."  
  
The two of them were silent for a bit and it seemed like they were about to fall asleep when Buffy mumbled, "I think I like you."  
  
"Yeah, 'm pretty fond of you too pet." Spike replied and the two of them drifted off as the sun rose into the sky. 


	6. chapter 6

When they woke up, things seemed to be nicely comfortable without the strange morning after feeling that they had in the past when they shagged. Instead they moved fluidly around each other in the bathroom. And at some point Buffy was brushing her teeth and watching Spike curiously as he shaved off the stubble o his face.  
  
"You missed a spot." Buffy said, muffled by the foamy toothpaste, as she pointed at the triangle patch of shaving cream on his right side.  
  
Spike tilted his chin and thanked her as he made a precise swipe and then started to tap the razor against the sink to clean it.  
  
"Can I borrow your toothpaste?" he asked as he pulled out a toothbrush.  
  
"You actually brush your teeth."  
  
"Harmony said she could smell me from the second floor."  
  
Buffy twitched, "Harmony..."  
  
Spike winced, "Yeah, amazing the stupid bint has been able to survive after so long. Sometimes I sort of think that the universe is one big joke. You know what I mean?"  
  
"So what's she doing now?" Buffy asked, as she started to brush her long golden hair.  
  
Spike's eyes flickered over and he resisted running his hands through them, "Uh... she's Angel's secretary –slash- receptionist."  
  
"You're kidding."  
  
"I wish. Although she's been useful once or twice..."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yeah, when Angel is in a really really bad mood, we just sic' her on him first."  
  
"How nice." Buffy muttered dryly as Spike grinned around his Super Mario toothbrush.  
  
Spike was so weird.  
  
~~~  
  
* 1. One of the Seven Wonders of the World not made of sand, stone, or earth has chambers leading down to a divine acephaly creature.  
  
2. Take this many steps on Daru on this day:  
  
According to a Mesoamerican Pre-Columbian culture, which world do we live in now?*  
  
"Bugger" Spike muttered as he started at the recopied clues on the paper again, he winced and tried to think.  
  
"Seven wonders... there's the hangin' gardens, the pyramids, Zeus... damn I don't know even know the rest. And what the bleeding hell is Daru?"  
  
"What was that?" Buffy asked as her head peer into the window, she had been out for a few hours weeding the garden.  
  
Spike held up the paper, "It doesn't make any sense. Can't the guy just tell me straightforward what the bleeding hell he's trying to talk about? But no~ we have to play "fuck with Spike's head"."  
  
Buffy laughed as she pointed towards the door, "Here, let me have a look at it."  
  
"Go ahead pet, take a stab at it. I know I want to, literally."  
  
Buffy came in and washed her hands and went back to the living room, "Here." She held her hand out to take the paper.  
  
Spike handed it to her.  
  
After a few moments Buffy blinked a few times, "You've got to be kidding me. This guy is worse than Angel."  
  
"You wouldn't happen to have a nifty lap top like Red does now would you?"  
  
"Yeah..." Buffy started as she watched Spike's face light up, but then she added, "But Giles wouldn't let me bring it."  
  
"Stupid watcher..." Spike muttered as he slouched in his chair.  
  
"You know what this means?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Library run."  
  
"urg... are they still even open?"  
  
"We could check, the sun will be down in half an hour."  
  
"Well, why don't we eat something first and then head out."  
  
"Sounds good."  
  
~~~  
  
Two hours later the two of them weren't doing that much better. They had written a list of the seven wonders of the world.  
  
- The Great Pyramid of Giza - The Hanging Gardens of Babylon - The Statue of Zeus - The Temple of Artemis. -The Mausoleum of Maussollos - The Colossus of Rhodes - The Lighthouse of Alexandria  
  
"Here it says that the Statue of Zeus was made of ivory, gold, and ebony." Buffy said as she looked up from a book, it was obvious she was getting tired as she rubbed her eyes.  
  
"But luv, it doesn't exist anymore."  
  
Buffy groaned as she flopped her face into the book, "This isn't making any sense."  
  
"Look, I looked around on the internet and it says that only the pyramids and the Lighthouse of Alexandria still exist. Although, not really the latter, it's in ruins now from a few earthquakes."  
  
"Okay so pyramids... You're whatever you're looking for is in Egypt?"  
  
Spike shrugged, "But then what about the other part of the clue?"  
  
"Acephaly?"  
  
"Will you look that up?"  
  
"Sure." Buffy said as she reached over and grabbed the dictionary.  
  
She smiled as she filed through it, "It feels like the good old days with everyone researching on demons..."  
  
She paused and then exclaimed, "Oh! Here it is. Acephaly - absence of the head (as in the development of some monsters)... a divine monster?"  
  
"No, I think they're emphasizing the headless part. Okay so a headless divine creature." Spike murmured as he pulled out the D section of the Encyclopedia."  
  
"As in mythical creatures?"  
  
"Doesn't divine imply God and heaven and stuff?"  
  
"Okay, so a heavenly creature...Angel?"  
  
"What about the poof?" Spike muttered as he switched the D book for the H book.  
  
"No no I meant angels are divine creatures."  
  
Spike made a face, "A headless angel?" but then he grinned and snickered at the mental image.  
  
Spike hesitated for a second and then put the books back, "Let me check this on the internet."  
  
Spike went over to one of the computers and typed in, "Headless Angel."  
  
After fifteen minutes he made a frustrated sound, "I just keep getting links to dead people named Angel or Angels in cemeteries with their head missing."  
  
Buffy walked over, "Uh, try searching images instead web pages."  
  
Spike did so and a screen full of pictures came up.  
  
He narrowed his eyes as he looked at the first picture, There were a bunch of people walking around, looking, and taking pictures of a headless armless angel. Buffy made a sound and then commented, "I've seen that somewhere before."  
  
"Really?!"  
  
"Yeah... I don't remember where though... I think it was a museum." She murmured while staring at the picture with her head tilted. Then she suggested, "Why don't you click the picture."  
  
The picture led to another page where a young man had about seventy links to pictures. Spike grumbled as he read each one, "Can't this moron be more concise?"  
  
Spike scrolled down and looking for the world angel when his eye caught sight of the world, "glass pyramid."  
  
'1. One of the Seven Wonders of the World not made of sand, stone, or earth...'  
  
"That's it!" Spike said, clicking on the link  
  
And suddenly a picture of a glass pyramid popped up, Buffy made a sharp, "Oh!" which earned a glare from the librarian. So she quickly ducked down and whispered, "I know that place. Dawn and I visited it when we were looking for Slayers. It's the Louvre, one of the most famous museums in France."  
  
"So off we go to France?" Spike said, getting up from the chair.  
  
"I guess, what about the rest of the clue?"  
  
Spike eyed the now crinkled paper warily, "Right... the second part..."  
  
"The Library will be closing in ten minutes." The librarian announced  
  
"More researching tomorrow?" Buffy asked as she collected their notes and things as Spike put the books on the resorting cart.  
  
Spike made a face, "I'd rather not..."  
  
"Yeah, my head hurts too. I heard it's going to be cloudy tomorrow."  
  
"Really? And where'd you hear that?"  
  
"Well, I saw it. Someone left a newspaper on one of the tables." Buffy said with a shrug as they exited the library.  
  
"So, up to touring Edinburgh tomorrow then?"  
  
"You bet."  
  
~~~ 


	7. chapter 7

The light drizzle that sprinkled over Edinburgh didn't deter any of the tourists, but it did somehow manage to heighten the ancient nostalgic feeling. The rain brought out a damp, earthen musk from the cobblestone walls and the clouds were lower than usual, lacing through the old castle like a bride's veil.  
  
Spike had taken precautions, dressing himself from head to tow in his usual black He wore black gloves to cover his exposed hands he and brought along an sun/rain umbrella. Thankfully it was drizzling ever so often, or else he would have seemed strange to be walking around with a black umbrella.  
  
The cobblestones around the castle were a bit slippery due to age and mold growing on the ground, they tread slowly and took their time looking at the statues around the castle and walked through the rooms quietly.  
  
The weather seemed to have quieted their urge to run and scream about like children through the castle grounds. But then even the children were quiet as they stuck close to their mother, eyeing the crumbling statues warily.  
  
They left the castle around noon, looked at the large pointy black monument near the castle and had lunch inside an old looking café. The walls were a bit stained from a previously un-repaired hole in the roof, the table cloths were warm grey blue and the china had old orange and red flower prints. Spike looked quite a bit out of place amongst the frilly looking lace windows, dainty cups and tiny tables. It made Buffy mentally giggle as he squirmed in his seat, and glanced at the window to make sure no one was staring at him. Spike could be such a baby at times.  
  
The food was good though, the deli sandwiches with hot coffee settled in the bottom of their stomachs, making them lazily stroll around the shops before heading to the gardens.  
  
The garden looked vibrant in the rain, although there was no sun; the blossoms glowed from the cleansing water and stood out brightly against the grey skies.  
  
While they wandered around the garden, Spike glanced around suspiciously and while Buffy wasn't looking he produced a cream yellow looking flower with orangish stains coming from the bottom of the petals. Buffy grinned at him with a mixed look of chastisement and fondness. But she still took the flower and held it close to her as they continued through the garden.  
  
After the gardens, they decided to just wander around the town instead of going only to tourist locations. The city had maintained most of its older structures and paths and it was almost like walking through a fairytale as they wandered under old stone arches and houses that were bunched closely together, creating almost mystical alleys that ended in the most surprising places.  
  
Spike was more than delighted as he ran around and popped his head into random alleys, and tried to get themselves as lost as possible.  
  
As Spike took another random turn, he finally noted, "It's like the old days, before I got turned, before I became a bumbling fool, my cousins and I used to have ideal games of hide and seek in alleys like this. In America there's too much open space, not enough hiding spots, but here, here you can just disappeared into thin air. And I mean look at it, it practically gushes with intrigue! I bloody miss being a kid..."  
  
Buffy grinned at Spike's comment. It was nice to know that Spike could still be nostalgic even after living a hundred years.  
  
They stopped their maze game before the sky became dark and then had dinner at a warm looking bistro.  
  
They were exhausted when they got home and Buffy had fallen asleep in the passenger's seat. Spike gently picked her up and took her upstairs, cradling her gently in his arms.  
  
For a moment, Buffy woke for a minute second and grinned at him blearily as he helped her take off her shoes and wrapped her safely in the comforter. And although later he had gone downstairs to sleep on the couch that night, he felt better than ever and fell asleep as soon as his head touched the feather pillow.  
  
~~~  
  
On March fifth, the two of them found themselves at the Louvre, both a bit of a backache from the long bus ride from Edinburgh to London and then the underground train ride from London to France. Unfortunately, it seemed quite sunny in France and Spike gave in and decided to look a bit odd with his black gloves and black umbrella. This time he was wearing another suit, it was light grey with a cobalt blue shirt, Buffy had told him earlier that they were going to a museum, not a rock concert and after arguing for about an hour, he finally gave in and pulled out the outfit. But in the end he made sure to 'forget' the tie. As they quickly tried to get into the Louvre, Buffy hurriedly murmured something about 'skin condition' to the ticket seller. Thankfully the lady was understanding and handed Buffy the tickets as quickly as she could.  
  
So now, the two of them were ascending the stairs to the Nike, looking this way and that for any sort of hint.  
  
Spike looked a bit disgruntled as he muttered something about giving them an exact time time. He looked around expecting a contact or something or perhaps a piece of paper...A part of him gnawed with worry, what if they missed the contact because they hadn't come soon enough, or they missed a part of the clue telling them when to come? Or what if some moronic tourist had kicked the sheet of paper away?  
  
Spike started to walk down the stairs to see if he could find a folded up piece of paper when Buffy called out to him, "I think I may have found something."  
  
Spike looked up, "What?"  
  
Buffy had her hand curled around an object. And as she opened her palm, a necklace with a round shaped pendant unraveled and dangled under her hand.  
  
"Are you sure you found that on the fifth step?"  
  
"Yeah, it was tied between the pillars on the hand-railing."  
  
Spike walked up the stairs to Buffy and inched his face close to the pendant, "It's a family crest."  
  
His eyes narrowed as he put his hand under the pendant and studied it, "I guess it's a clue."  
  
"I think that's a picture of a cat," he continued.  
  
Buffy held up the necklace, "You're kidding, that's like the vaguest clue I've ever seen."  
  
"You and me both pet. Now why what the hell are they trying to say?"  
  
"I donno, the cat is surrounded by the jewels?"  
  
"It's not really a jewel, a blue gem stone?"  
  
"Blue... sky?" Buffy guessed.  
  
"Water?"  
  
"Umm... birds?"  
  
"Nah, you're reachin' luv."  
  
"But neither makes sense..." Buffy grumbled as she sat down on the stair, "cat in blue sky... cat in blue water."  
  
"Maybe we should get someone to look at the gem." Spike suggested.  
  
"Good idea."  
  
~~~  
  
They found themselves at the gift shop talking to the teenage girl selling jewelry souvenirs."  
  
"Do you know what kind of gem this is?"  
  
The freckly girl with orangish red hair scratched her nose. Spike was a bit tempted to start calling her Weasley.  
  
"Well, it's not crystal... pretty plain looking. I think it's plastic."  
  
Spike shrugged, "Anything else?"  
  
"Uh... Rhinestone design on tin."  
  
"Now we know the guy is cheap," Spike told Buffy sarcastically.  
  
"Rhinestone..." Buffy murmured to herself...then she turned to the lady, "wait, how do you spell Rhinestone?"  
  
The girl took out a piece of paper and wrote it down.  
  
Spike stared for a moment, then borrowed the pen from the salesclerk, and crossed out 'stone'.  
  
"Rhine?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Biggest river in Germany." Spike murmured to himself. Then he looked up at the salesclerk and glanced over at the computer next to the cash register. "Is that hooked up the internet?"  
  
"Yeah..." The girl said timidly.  
  
"cross search Rhine river and cat."  
  
The girl did so and quickly brought up the results, "uh... castle Rhine cruise... ancient town cat and mouse..."  
  
"Click on that."  
  
The girl searched for the word cat and went down the page, "St. Goarshausen -- This ancient town is known for its cat and mouse castles. The Burg Katz (Castle Kat) was built in 1372 by aristocrats who gave the neighboring Durenberg Castle the name Burg Maus (Castle Mouse)."  
  
Spike looked at Buffy with a grin, "Looks like we know where to go next." 


	8. chapter 8

Chapter 8  
  
Unfortunately it turned out that they didn't have the transportation needed to get to Germany and Buffy found herself outside of the newly established Slayer quarters in France.  
  
And it just also happened that Giles and Xander were there.  
  
"What are you doing here? You're supposed to be on vacation." Giles said.  
  
Buffy shrugged, "I am, sort of. I'm just helping Spike."  
  
"Spike? Whatever for?"  
  
"Remember Wolfram and Harte? They sent over Spike, he's trying to solve a case. But it turns out that his stool pigeon has Angel's knack for stratagems. So we're Europe hopping, trying to figure out what's going on."  
  
Spike shrugged from the corner of the room, he was a bit disgruntled because he had been burned a bit earlier since Giles took too long to let the both of them in. It wasn't until Spike shoved past Giles and went into the sanctuary of the house that the situation finally clicked in the watcher's mind.  
  
Xander was in the back of the house with a few Slayers, unaware of their presence, but Giles had told Buffy and Spike that Xander was there.  
  
"Buffy, this isn't safe. And why didn't you tell me sooner?" Giles said, trying to look like a reprimanding father.  
  
"Giles, you aren't my keeper. Besides, Spike will protect me." Buffy said nonchalantly, hoping that it would bristle Giles' feathers; just a little.  
  
It did. Giles frowned and carried out his customary glasses wiping, which he usually did when he was in a state of distress.  
  
"We haven't done anything dangerous wotcher." Spike said.  
  
Still, Giles scowled at Spike, he wasn't as happy as Buffy that the vampire had come back. "I'll be the judge of what's dangerous or not."  
  
Buffy rolled her eyes, "Look, wherever this guy is sending us, its close enough to large groups of people and it doesn't seem like he has any intention of hurting us. Besides, the last place we were at was the Louvre, which has top notch security."  
  
"Do I hear the Buffster?" Xander's voice suddenly piped up from the back of the house.  
  
"Yeah Xander it's me." Buffy said, waving at him from where she was standing.  
  
Xander came into the light a bit and it was apparent that wherever he wasn't a dark tan color, he was sunburned. Buffy winced in sympathy and gave him a cautious hug.  
  
As Xander backed up, he finally noticed Spike. But he looked confused for a second as he stared and turned his head while staring at Spike. "Is that?..."  
  
"Yeah it's me..."  
  
"Hey it's evil dead!"  
  
"..says the moron who shouldn't be talkin' if it weren't for me."  
  
"Oh yeah, you're not the only guy who saved the world from an apocalypse, if it weren't for me, Willow..."  
  
"Guys, can we not do this?" Buffy asked as she cut off Xander and held a finger up to Spike to silence him.  
  
Spike folded his arms as he watched the carpenter and the watcher warily, "Buffy, luv, why are we here anyways."  
  
"We need to get a car or some sort to get to Germany."  
  
Spike gaped, "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"  
  
"Huh? Why'd you think I was coming here?"  
  
"I thought you had bleedin' business to finish up before we left."  
  
"You can get us a car?"  
  
Spike pulled out his wallet and pulled out a stack of business cards, "There's practically a Wolfram and Harte in ever major city in Europe. I could have gotten a car from the Paris branch, not to mention they have special sun filtered car windows for vamps."  
  
"Wow our communication sucks," Buffy deadpanned and headed for the door.  
  
"W-where are you going?" Giles asked.  
  
"Leaving?" Buffy replied.  
  
"You can't leave! Not with deadboy!" Xander replied, sounding a bit petulant.  
  
Spike raised an annoyed brow, and refused to comment, but the message went across very clearly.  
  
"Look, we have to solve this case soon okay?"  
  
"I don't trust him with you." Giles suddenly said, taking a step forward towards Buffy.  
  
"Well, I trust him. You need to get over your grudges Giles."  
  
"I will not let you..."  
  
"Here, why don't I just go with her and deadboy. Then we can make sure he doesn't do anything."  
  
Buffy threw her hands up in exasperation, "He wasn't doing anything in the first place. God you two are annoying! I'm fine, we're fine. Stop badgering me and just let me be!"  
  
But it seemed like Buffy's words went in one ear and out the other as Giles nodded, "Yes, I think that's a good idea Xander."  
  
Buffy's eye twitched. Then she took a deep breath and calmed down, "Fine then, I might as well stay until evening then. Then we can go to Wolfram and Harte and get the car."  
  
Spike looked a bit disappointed but nodded mutely while sending semi-subtle glares at Giles and Xander.  
  
"Spike, come on, let's get our stuff." Buffy said with slouched shoulders.  
  
Spike nodded and followed her, making sure to open the umbrella as he neared the doorway and sunlight.  
  
Then as they neared the alley Buffy started to look suspicious as her step quickened just a bit. Suddenly Spike understood that she was going to make a break for it. Spike shot her a nod and the both of them started to run down the alley after grabbing their things and dashed as fast as they could to local bus stop. Luckily a taxi passed by and they quickly got in as Spike handed him the business card the Wolfram and Harte French branch.  
  
Xander and Giles could be seen running and yelling as they tried to catch up to them, but eventually trailed and stopped once they saw them haphazardly get into the taxi. Buffy watched as the two men eventually grew smaller in the back window of the taxi and disappeared out of sight as the driver took a turn.  
  
Spike and Buffy grinned at each other and exchanged a high five.  
  
~~~ "The Burg Kat is a private estate. Therefore we can only look at it from the outside. We are not permitted inside the castle." The tour guide said under his umbrella, you could barely see his face through the onslaught of rain.  
  
Buffy, who was huddled under the umbrella with Spike, pulled her coat tightly in front of her. Spike noticed her minute action and tilted the umbrella more to her side and drew her closer to him.  
  
"...It was built by Count Johann of Katzenelbogem near the end of the 14th century..." The tourist continued."  
  
"So now what?" Buffy asked Spike as they looked up at the brownish red brick castle.  
  
"Well, it doesn't mean we have to go inside the castle. Maybe the next clue is somewhere around the outside of it."  
  
~~~~  
  
The rain was both good and bad. It was good because it gave Spike more time and light to look for whatever they were looking for, but it was bad in that it made hiking around the castle grounds hell.  
  
The rain had made the paths slick and trying to get anywhere a bit more awkward than Spike would have liked. Luckily both of them hadn't slipped yet... (Spike made sure to knock on a tree after that thought).  
  
The both of them were getting soaked despite the umbrella, when they tried to walk around the lumpy rocks, the umbrella would waver and allow a torrent of water to hit the both of them. In the end, they found a small cave of sorts, barely tall enough to walk in with your back bent over. But at least it kept the rain out.  
  
Buffy was soaked, flushed, and her breaths were consolidating in the cold air. And as pretty as she looked then and as much as Spike wanted to kiss her, he knew that she was going to get sick if she didn't get dry.  
  
"It think we better go back luv and then wait until the rain stops before we continue."  
  
"But..."  
  
"Look the guy never set a time limit for this. So I guess I'll assume that it'll still be there when we come back for it later. And if we miss out on it... oh well."  
  
Buffy made a face, she furrowed her brow a bit as she looked over at him, "You know, you keep saying 'it'. Do you even know what we're looking for? For all we know, I could have been in front of us the whole time."  
  
Spike let out an exasperated sigh, "You know that poof, you'd think he'd ever tell me anything substantial? Boy I wish he would. Nah, just sent me out here, told me to meet up with a contact and look for something. He said I'd know it was important when I come across it."  
  
"Sounds like Angel all right."  
  
Spike glanced over and tucked a dripping strand of hair away from Buffy's face, "Cold?"  
  
"Unbelievably."  
  
"I wish I could help but... no body heat." Spike said dejectedly.  
  
Buffy shook her head, indicating that it was alright. She got up a bit and bent over to avoid hitting her head on the roof of the cave, "Come one, lets get out of here."  
  
Spike agreed and started to climb out of the cave when...  
  
"Oh shoot! Our room key dropped out of my pocket, damn... I don't know why the hotels here all have keys that weigh more than my laptop."  
  
"You want me to get it?" Spike asked, ready to go back in, but Buffy waved him off, "It's okay, I'm smaller, I can move around more easily."  
  
Buffy crawled back into the cave and after a while it got really silent.  
  
Spike panicked, "Buffy?! Luv?! Are you alright?"  
  
"S-spike!" Buffy yelled, "Oh my god!"  
  
"What's wrong?! Just wait, I'm coming in!"  
  
"No no, nothing's wrong... I found something!"  
  
"Wait what?"  
  
"I found something in here a trunk of some sort! It has a lock on it and it looks kind of new! It's not very heavy thought, let me drag it out."  
  
Soon the sound of a metal trunk scraping along rocks could be heard as Buffy dragged the trunk to the entrance of the cave. And despite her lack of powers, she was able to easily lift it up and hand it to Spike.  
  
Spike held the trunk up to his face, "Huh...I guess we found was we came here for."  
  
Buffy grinned as she came out of the cave, "Well?"  
  
"Well, I think you're a bloody good detective pet." Spike complemented.  
  
Buffy gave Spike a bright smile, completely forgetting that she was wet and cold. She nudged him lightly with her hips, "Only bloody good?"  
  
"Fine, you were brilliant." Spike replied in mock exasperation. 


End file.
